Your Opinions Plz On My Letter

Comments(14)

• 
  rjs935212th February, 2004

  It's pretty good. I'd take out the part where you state "I'm a small time investor" and just replace it with investor. Other than that I think it's a pretty solid letter. Oh I think there might have been a typo as well. "I can offer you an equitable solution to will give you the cash you need to start over." I think you meant to say "that" instead of "to".
  
  Ryan J. Schnabel

• 
  ahabion12th February, 2004

  thx.. off we go to send it.
  
  
  
  
  
  [addsig]

• 
  tinman175512th February, 2004

  It sounds great. I always add the fact that "I understand the fact that people's lives change every 3-6 months"
  
  Lori
  [addsig]

• 
  monkfish12th February, 2004

  I'm going to skip the grammatical and syntactical analysis of your letter and get right to the more significant problem.
  
  Get yourself a good pair of hip waders because you’re knee-deep in bullsh*t.
  
  Your letter sounds disingenuous. It smacks of artificiality.
  
  For example:
  
  “Let me be an alternative resolution for you and give yourself a chance to sleep better tonight.”
  
  Talk about cheesy. You don’t care if they “sleep better,” so why say it?
  
  Do yourself a favor and save the altruistic “I’m looking out for you” garbage.
  
  Let’s be honest. Like the rest of us, you’re trying to make money. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
  
  My advice is to be frank, direct and stick to business. Don’t treat people like fools.
  
  Now I’m not saying come out and announce that you’re trying to make money. The topic of how much you’re profiting should never be addressed.
  
  But don’t go to the other extreme and act like you’re doing this out the goodness of your heart.
  
  With tactics like that, it’s no surprise these people haven’t written you back yet.
  
  You’re busy worrying about spelling errors, when your concern should be character issues.

• 
  betchacantride12th February, 2004

  Look at the italicized entries below. Good Luck.
  
  Quote:
  On 2004-02-11 23:40, ahabion wrote:
  hey dudes and dudettes,
  
  i'd like your opinion and suggestions on my follow up letter. please be as harsh as you want and if you find typos, i'm sorry MS Word didnt pick it up okay?!
  
  it as follows:
  
  Dear Mr. and Mrs. XXXXXXX:
  
  I wrote you a letter about your home a few months back and wanted to check up on how you were doing. I have not heard a response from you regarding your home being in foreclosure and wanted to make sure you found a solution to your problems. As you may already know, I am an investor in the area and my desire is to help people who are facing the difficulties of foreclosure.
  
  I know that it has been a while since my last letter and ([by now you should realize] - don't say that, sounds like you're scorning them) the problems that we all face in today’s blistering economy. I know the hardship and troubles that you may currently have and I would like to help find the best solution for your problems.
  
  You may be in the process of dealing with your home right now - either selling it on the market “for sale by owner”, listing it through an agent, or perhaps you’ve resolved the situation with the bank. If you have not yet though, please contact me and I will try my best to help you get the problem solved. I can offer you an equitable solution that will give you the cash you need to move on with your life. Let me provide a resolution for you and give yourself a chance to sleep better tonight.
  
  Please give me a call so that I may better understand your situation. I may have an answer to your needs. You are not under any obligation whatsoever. You have nothing to lose if you call me, so pick up the phone now and let's find a solution that will suit you.
  
  Feel free to reach me at any time, any day of the week.
  
  Sincerely,
  
  
  <IMG SRC="images/forum/smilies/icon_lol.gif">
  
  <IMG SRC="images/forum/smilies/icon_confused.gif">

• 
  rup12th February, 2004

  Ahabion
  
  Overall it is a decent letter. However, I also feel that it sounds a litte fake and insincere.
  
  Some of the things that make me think this are:
  
  my desire is to help people like you who are in foreclosure.
  understand that all you need is a little time and a little help.
  give yourself a chance to sleep better tonight.
  were all created with the freedom of choice. (This one really gets me.)
  
  And this phrase just needs to be re-thought and re-written: You have nothing to lose if you call me, so pick up the phone NOW and call me.
  
  I hope this is helpful.
  
  -rup

• 
  ahabion12th February, 2004

  great advice thx guys... but about me BS stuff.. honestly i would like to help these people, and true to it that we wanna make money, i understand and acknowledge that these people need help, but yes i will make the necessary changes thanks to you guys... its great.. and yes i'll rethink those... i kinda thought it was a little fishy too.
  
  well off to editing room.
  
  thank you again.
  
  
  
  
  
  [addsig]

• 
  JeffAdams12th February, 2004

  Everyone is sending letters, remember that. Typically when I meet with homeowners at the kitchen table, they
  give me a stack of at least 10 letters they have received.
  
  You need to distinguish yourself from the rest to be the best. Try knocking on 10 doors a week of people who are going to trustee sale. You will find better
  success.
  
  Best Riches,
  Jeff Adam
  [addsig]

• 
  Lufos12th February, 2004

  This is not the time for a lovely letter from a highly civilized and sensitive person.
  
  You cut to no more then two short paragraphs.
  
  (I hope you have solved your problem. If not call me, I am holding a check for you. Your time to act has almost expired.)
  
  Julius Caesar and Cleo da Pat.
  
  1--866--456--7889

• 
  omega113th February, 2004

  Well,
  
  Lufos advise is great as always. Never the less I never believed in the strategy that waving the money in front of the someone's face is what will make that person pick up the phone and call you. Shame binds and for a moment I think that is maybe the right time for me to present to our audience and for someone to use my super secret good hart method to work all over the land of the free.
  
  Here is how it works:
  
  Begin the process by pre screening the long list of the NOD's. Concentrate on those that preferably have a single female owner. Make your list then drive buy those properties to get familiar with them. Once you are do as follow:
  
  Every larger city have an animal shelter. I don not like cats but they are the best for what I am going to tell you. Go to a local animal shelter and offer to help them find the new homes for the homeless cats, that nice yellow kitten and dozen more they have. Offer to take them one by one and ask the store for a free bag of the cat food so you can have enough time to find them the new home. Store or homeless animal shelter would continue to feed the cat for who know how much longer if you didn't show up so they will gladly hand you the bag.
  
  Once you got your package ready, drive by the first house and leave the cat, open bag of cat food and the little cat plate on the porch and along with the note: Several months ago this cat lost her home in the prces of foreclosure. Don't lose yours. We all need one! For help how to stop foreclosure, please call 888-222-1212 or visit stop http://www.foreclosure.com, which is a domain already taken. If the owner don't call you that's fine because you now have a reason to visit again in person. if the cat is still on the porch, it might mean that the owner has already moved. Pick up the cat and go to the next NOD on your list. Live the note behind explaining that a little cat was "crying" on her steps so you took it until she returns. have the kitten's picture on the note.
  
  Let us know how this system works in your aria!
  
  
  
  Best. Alex.

• 
  ahabion13th February, 2004

  see now thats just cruel and mean, not to mention demeaning to females and their emotions. of course Lufo had it pretty much and imma use his info believe it or not... right to the point, i like it. but omega thats just mean heh. i'm an animal lover so i cant do that to a kitten... i have one that i adopted not to long ago that is blind in both eyes, had both eyes ripped out somehow... looks like a fight with another cat... poor thing.
  
  
  
  
  
  [addsig]

• 
  rainforrester13th February, 2004

  Omega, you're kidding us right? C'mon, say you are..
  
  i don't possess the wordsmith powers to adequtely describe how that scene makes me feel if your being straight-up.
  
  you have success with that? The homeowner doesn't slam the door in your face when you come back for the cat?
  
  Geez, i know i am just a newbie, and maybe i am being naieve here, but i think acting with class and integrity have to be an integral part of any sucessful REI business.
  
  how bout this one, pay a homeless person to sit on the porch with a note to give the homeowner when they try to evict them off the porch. That should make an ironic impact.
  
  heck, how bout hiring one of those guys who sits by the freeway exit ramps. instead of "will work for food", they could have "we buy houses"
  
  heavy sigh...
  [ Edited by rainforrester on Date 02/13/2004 ]

• 
  Stockpro9913th February, 2004

  I hope that works for you ALex, because that is way over the top for me!
  If I get bored I may have to adopt that technique just to see the response, that is if I can stop sneezing long enough to get my pitch out.

• 
  jfreud13th February, 2004

  You know what you could do is bring a dead horse and drop it on their doorstep. Then ring the door bell. At which point you take out your whip and proceed to "beat the dead horse".
  
  Although the idea of beating a dead horse was probably thought up by a relative of the guy who created the door bell sound - DING DONG!
  
  You're looking for motivated people and letters or adds that call people to the action you would like them to take(contacting you) work. Motivated people will find you if you advertise in areas that are well seen and well known. Tricks, like the above, (and others) just piss people off.
  
  Remember people will not sell you their house, even if your offer is better, if they truly do not like you (you would never get to make that offer).