Primarily A Man's Sport
I am just wondering, and correct me if I am wrong, why the majority of investors are male. I have tried and tried to spark the interest of my girlfriend by hinting to read books, write letters, drive neighborhoods, write down addresses when you see a prospective property. But all to no avail.
She does make an effort though, I just can’t sit and talk with her for hours about investing because she doesn’t have an opinion, It is like talking to myself. I just want to be able to study, read books, and grow together with someone, that feels the same way. What really disappoints me about the whole situation is I can’t go any farther in our relationship unless we share this common goal. I have centered everything around RE because it is the key to me being able to realize my dreams.
What can I do at this point, maybe I have not approached things right? Maybe I could approach it differently than in the past? Any suggestions
Im having the same 'prolem'.
She doesnt really seem inerested in knowing how things work...shes more interested in seeing the end results.
[addsig]
Hey Guys,
I have realized myself that you can't get everybody to think the same way you do. It is like pulling teeth.
I understand the need to want to communicate with someone who shares the same thoughts and goals as you do but chances are it ain't gonna happen.
Your best bet is to "just do it"!
The odds usually increase then if they see you out there "doing it"!
Many are afraid to start something in fear of failure. But without failure there can be no success. Start it, and you may find that others may follow.
All the best!
Brandon
The best way to convice people that Real Estate is a good way to go is by golfing 3 days a week and going on long vacations.
Once they see that they'll notice that you're doing something right.
If you can get them to read something,
"Rich Dad, Poor Dad" is probably a good starter book for them.
Oops, forgot the other part of your question.
As far as a "man's sport" I think many men feel pressure to be the breadwinner/hunter-gatherer and they see that RE is a great way to do that. Women, often times, follow carreers that they are passionate about rather than ones that pay well. There are lots of jobs that I think I would enjoy, but they don't pay very well.
I happen to know quite a few women who have done well in RE. My mom supported a family on real estate investing. She's got 40 units of apartments and loves to look at potential properties.
When youre starting off i noticed alot of people havent read the same stuff i have, or got the ideas that i do, therefore they arent all that interested. (Old money making ideas)
that makes it tough to get any help. i agree its time to just go out and do it WITh a team. Only then i think will family/friends be willing to help you.
[addsig]
I don't think it is a man's sport I know several girls who invest in houses.
hibby76
I guess it not so much just women, it more than just male or female. I comes down the actual mentality of the individual. I find it hard to talk with people at length about finances in general. And I blame that on our society for programming us to be that way. I just want to discuss what I am learning with someone who will appreciate the knowledge, and who better than the person your going to spend your life with. Right????
I certainly hope it's not a "man's" sport, since i'm female. I find that my husband doesn't share the passion that i do about all the "ins and outs", "what ifs" and "if you do this, you can do that" stuff. It's ok though, because, to be honest, this is my business and whilst i value his opinion, i want to be able to make final decisions myself without worrying about hurting his feelings or thinking his advice wasn't heeded.
Sounds sorta dumb, i know....we've worked it out though, he lets me explain the "how to" things but usually it's just me reviewing things outloud, then, if he sees a BIG flaw in my thinking, he points it out, otherwise, he goes out happily to work in the yard, barn or whatever . I do drag him all over though, to help me inspect properties and give estimates.
Don't worry about your gf not being interested. Heck, if she was really enthusiastic you may find yourselves arguing about it! (on a plus side, if you stay together long enough, i'll bet she'll start to delve into it more. Personally, i like the "hunt" part of investing the best, it's like being a good detective)
Lorien,
Thank you so much for your insight. I guess I just want to have someone that I can talk to till I blue in the face. I just hate bottling it up inside, because I am so excited and enthusiastic about the whole situation.
Then again it doesn’t matter, I will not stop at what I am doing. And most likely she will catch the fire as our lives improve.
Ha! kmaples, i know exactly what you mean.
lorien has a point. there is something to be said about not having a spouse have a huge opinion about every aspect of your business . my husband drives me nuts sometimes we hardly share any intrests. though i am grateful he would support me to the hilt. If your woman will listen to you for hours about investing and her eyes are not glossed over or rolled out of her head yet, your in good shape! Just worry about common values : mariage, children, religion, and squeezing the toothpaste from the middle.
Take care, and worry about the important stuff. namely does she love you are you good for each other.
Melanie
(a woman that is glad her husband doesn't follow her around the office.)
mjovanroosendaal
When you put it like that it makes a whole lot of since, I guess the stories I heard and read are few and far between. How does it go “You don’t know what you got till its gone”j/k Thanks for your advice.
If you want inspiration from women investors, just check out Dwan Bent-Twyford and Sharon Restrepo.
Those ladies are AMAZING!!!!!!!! I saw Dwan speak last weekend, and I am telling you, you should check her out at http://www.theartoftheshortsale.com
She just kicks butt. Hang in there, put out the universe the kind of folks you want, you will attract them. Dave
Dave,
I appreciate the tip, Is it primarily shortsale info? Or general real estate course? Sounds great
thanks for the info on sharon restrepo.
hey i had to redo my membership do we pay for membership now? how mutch and what page do i pay at?
mjovanroosendaal
Yes, I had to renew mine too, It just shut me out 2 days ago. I paid the $50
where3 on this site did you pay, or did they send you a private message?
they denied me access and I had to pay to get back on the forums.
i just joined again but i think i only have 10 days so maybe they'll send me a message. well I need to drop my interests for a few and spend some time sharing my husbands thanks and take care
Hmmm a man's sport? I think not.
While the majority of men are in here typing away, we hard working females are out on the street searching for leads and negotiating our CREI skills hehehe!
My passion has always been (and always will be ) Real Estate and I have 3 female investors on my database and yours truly is a female as well
Something about real estate that is a big turn ON to me, I hope someone can relate to what I'm saying here
Cheers To all, even you too guys (men)in here hehe!
Goldmine,
That was not meant to be a discriminative remark, I was just curious as to why the majority of RE Investors are male, which has been the case in my experiences.
Goldmine,
What is your primary focus in RE?
Another successful woman investor:
Queen Of Rehab
Robyn Thompson
from $40k a year at a J.O.B. (Just Over Broke) to a over a million a year.
Avg. Profit on a deal after expenses are all paid.......ready.....
$22,000.
You go girl!!!
Brandon
WOW!!! Outstanding
You also have to remember there are "Thinkers, Watchers and Doers" some people are just comfortable right where they are, because it takes no effort.
Some people don't like change. Anything that is different from yesterday, may cause a ripple in their lives, wether male or female.
I've had male friends that were in the same boat, and when I started investing and making money, thats when they wanted to be a part of it. I think another big part is fear. Fear will motivate you or it will cripple you.
Some people just want to see you do it , to make sure it works first.....
Now dont feel bad about the fact that your wife/girlfriend/significant other, does not share your love of the sport oops profession of Real Estate. I too have a problem with my wife. I just cannot get enthusiastic about selecting just the right dress for every occasion. I have on occasion sat there in a blue funk as she ran through the various stages of red before selecting a dress that might have been appropriate for a camel in heat but did nothing for her.
I once gave her a long lecture about the process of secondary intent in a bargaining situation. Her answer was a right to my ear. Just because she is bigger she does tend to bully.
But then, one day, in the midst of a heated exchange in an escrow, the client had walked out twice already. I had the keys to his car so he had to come back. She butted in "Listen you two fools, you are going back and forth its got to stop, I have shopping to do. So in my hand I have a card the first one to guess its face value gets to settle on the last price given. Do you two idiots agree?" What could I do, I agreed and my rival the Hashimite rug merchant agreed.
She waived her hand in the air and I went first. No, incorrect, The owner of the camels went next. No, incorrect. It was my turn, I concentrated and said, "The King of Clubs." Right, she smiled and showed the card. It was the King of Clubs, I had won.
Back into the Escrow and everybody signed. We came out and shook hands, I then walked over to my car. "Darling, sweet Angel pie, love of my life. So wheres the other cards? She produced them from up the sleeve of the red dress. So many King of Clubs!!
Listen to me dear friends, do not sell the Ladies short, they have many talents some are well hidden. God I hate winter clothes.
Of course you can always cut short all this nonsense and marry a card shark. I did.
Guilable Lucius
Every one has different interests. I don't know that it is a male / female thing.
Is there anything about real estate that she does like? Instead of trying to make her like exactly what you like, see what interests her. Perhaps your interests can compliment each other.
I, personally, like finding the deals and dealing with numbers, etc. My spouse is great at dealing with people. I can do minor repairs, and she enjoys landscaping/planting flowers to make the houses look nice.
Lorian said "Personally, i like the "hunt" part of investing the best, it's like being a good detective" Could you please elaborate on being a good detective. Where do you look? What do you look for? Things like that. Thanks, Rodney
my input is simple. don't let her disinterest in rei affect your relationship. if she's not interested and you'd like her to listen a bit more to you, try showing her a tad more interest in what she likes to talk about - even if it's Danielle Steele novels. hahaha (juss kiddin). but really, if you go out of your way an hour or so a day to talk to her about what she's IN TO, that may go a long way in getting her interest up in sharing your ups and downs in the biz.
possibly she could not even be interested in money (risky) ... maybe she's more of the "voice of reason" that i loathe hearing from - EVERY DAY!! haha. your the gambler. what the hell ... opposites attract.
i hate soundin like Dr. Phil. but, it helped me in the past ...
Jackman,
Opposites attract! You may be on to something here!
The majority of successful real estate agents are women, so it's not that they don't like real estate. However, most women are more security concious and less interested in "risk taking" than is required of a real estate investor.
I am an exception to that as are the women on this forum and hopefully many more in the future.
I believe it is impossible to find a mate that shares all of your passions. Instead find a real estate investing group to join, in your area and talk with them till the cows come home
[addsig]
Her passion might not be your passion,but when you form this relationship did tell her it is must to be interested in every career i venture into.?Or may she with you because who are, not what job you have today or tomorrow.