Mentor
Well in spite of the fact that it has taken me almost three weeks to notice your post here (sorry, holidays) I think you'd be hard pressed to beat the advice here at TCI.
Go look at deals, post your questions. We'll do what we can.
ROFLMAO my friend.
Tell you what, you recommend me for the $5,000 mentor program and I will recommend you for the guys in Atlanta. Then we can flip lots in your New Mexico desert subdivision back and forth and drive up values until banks are willing to loan us $20 million on a couple of quarter acre lots and then we'll both retire to the Bahamas. Or Jamaca. I've got a lead on an island for sale in Jamaca. No water and no harbor but thats a relatively minor problem for a fellow of your insight and creativity.
an island with no water? Isn't that like an arctic continent without ice or polar bears???
Yes, I agree with you that the quarter acre lots are worth at least $20,000,000. I think the lots with the cactus views could go a little more though.... Let me know when you have all the financing lined up and I'll send the wiring instructions. Once I get the funds transfered I'll stop by the boat show going on this weekend and get that 75' footer I've had my eye on. If you can make it to the eastern coast somewhere I'll swing by and pick you up. Or rather, I'll have my staff come pick you up. I'll be on the back deck enjoying myself.
Hey...we could be on to something here.
Well, it has lots of water, just none of it is fresh. Salt water everywhere.
No problem on the financing, just this measly $2 million application fee, then the Nigerian fellow will give orders to the Swiss bank to transfer the Arab oil money and the dollars will be in your account before you know it. You know how those Arabs are, they think anything that looks like a desert must have oil under it. They love the sub-division pictures.
Just send over the $2million and I meet you at the boat show.
Mark
woodsong and commercialking,
Hey, don't hog all the fun here! How about a threesome?
Nancy
Sure Nancy, you send over $2million you can come to the boat show too. I'll even buy the boat show tickets so that you we can all look at our new yachts together. After all Woodsong already offered you an option on one of those quarter-acre desert lots. And the Nigerian says the Arabs have lots of money.
Nancy,
you want one of my desert lots?? I am still looking for your LOI to come in over the fax but it has not yet arrived...???
Despite said letter of intent never arriving, I still like you and would be willing to part with a few of my precious desert lots for you. The prices are really going up due to the help of Commercialking's appraiser from Trindad but I will let you in on the ground floor pricing since you are so nice.
Hey Mark, the $2mill application fee seems steep. I got an email from a real friendly man from nigeria just the other week and he only wanted $1.5mill. Can you talk to your guy and see if he won't match prices??? I guess I shouldn't complain. Can you spot me for the application fee and I will repay you on the back end??
Thanks.
Nancy, we're gonna need to get a bigger boat if the 3 of us are going together. The 100' model is a lot better than the 75' so really it's a good thing you want to come too.
Well my Nigerian is much more dependable than that guy you deal with. He probably tried to sell you some bill of goods about how he's got money from some corrupt government official who just needs your money to open a swiss bank account so that he can funnel his ill-gotten gains into your desert subdivision.
My Nigerian is muchmore legitimate, I met him through this former CIA guy. His money comes from arab oil magnates. And the swiss bank account is already funded. My $2million application fee is so I can put together a really nice package, (although of course this is only customary and they always approve everything because they have so much money they don't know how to deal with it) and to pay the lawyers to draw up your loan documents so that the $20million will be completely non-recourse. Oh, and the current rate is 3.5% per year just so you know where you're at.
So just send the money on over and we'll get to drawing up documents right away. Not to worry.
Sorry, I can't fund these costs on the back end, you know how it is those evil lawyers won't work without getting paid up front. Totally customary, totally routine, just send over the money. Preferably in cash. Small bills.
commercial king, condo the damn theatre. people are condoing everything these days. just red an article about how banks are the new hot thing to turn into condos. allthough the safe door will cost a pretty penny to either open or remove. they rented out the main hall/entrance area to a grocer. build on top if possible.
They have been turning old theaters in CA into rock climbing gyms.
Sorry, just noticed the requests for follow up on the theater.
Well I actually was working on two theaters. One we are gutting and turning into a combined car wash and mechanic garage-- but its in the ghetto and the only thing that seems sure to make money int he ghetto is car washes and pentacostal churches.
The other one I took a pass on. Too much money for something without a clear plan. My guess is that the buyer will knock it down and build apartments but thats not really my thing and its not a neighborhood I am that enthralled with.
You know when I lived down in DC we used to go somewhat regularly to an old theatre that had been renovated to have couches and tables rather than movie theatre seats and had waitresses (up until the movie started) that had basically a combonation of movie theatre food (popcorn, soda and hot dogs) and bar food (beer (the main attraction) wings and stuff). They ran second run movies and older theme movies. THings like a James Bond Week and stuff like that. It was a pretty cool place to go and always seemed rather full.
Yeah, we have one of those here in Chicago too. Its called the Brew and View.
Too bad St. Louis is an intersting market. And you can stop by the Cahokia mounds and study urban planning at one of the premier archeological sites in North America.