A Break Away From The Seriousness
Sitting in front of a computer all day and having 3 kids run you nuts has forced me to sit back and take a few minutes to clear my head. I try to think or write something funny to make me laugh and relax me. Well as I sat here coming up with a foreclosure marketing letter my twisted little mind was forced into making something funny, so here it is and please nobody go and use this letter..its just for laughs ..
Dear Future Homeless Family,
Uh Hello? You are going to lose your home. Yes you. You are about 2 seconds from sleeping outdoors. I suggest you sit down, put the crack pipe down and start packing your stuff now. This way when the sherrif comes to put you out, youre ready! And you know whats really cool?They're even gonna move you for free. I cant even get my friends to help me move. I should have been calling the sherrif years ago.
Anyway, Since you are going to be homeless 3 days from now and being the kind fellow I am, I took the liberty of reserving shelter for you and your family, all expenses paid, at the conveniently located downtown mission. They will supply you with hot food (a souplike substance), a warm place to sleep (an old army cot and blanket), and you will have plenty of new friends, some I am sure you will have a lot in common with, seeing that a lot of them were put out too.
Anyway, this is your future from what I can see..but hey if you like it, I love it. Just start thinking about what its going to fell like taking a dump outside in the cold, and that should be enough to kick start reality for you. If it is pick up the phone and call me. I can help you
Now thats a marketing letter...LOL
God Bless everyone here and hope you smiled
Benny 
[addsig]
great letter can i use it for my foreclosure run outs??? hehe
[addsig]
LOL..at your own risk..LOL. Sad to say this is what I actually feel like telling these people.
Benny
[addsig]
Deer sir,
I dun reeded yur letr and thank yu fur yr advic caus we bein kickd out ourr hse tomoro. Buts its alll rigt. I got a neu job techin schooll an I startt tomorow. I be teachin at UCLA in tha reeal estatee deptt. My subjeectt is Lender Relations.
shur glad Idon got thats PhD an a miner in Englishh as she is spoke herre in Califernia.
Cherrys Lactus Suffrin
Dont laugh..I have seen people like that...LOL
Benny
[addsig]
For many of those just entering the field, sadly, that's what they think. They think that foreclosure only happens to people who are on the crack pipe, smoke the doobies, chug Jack Daniels, or otherwise squander their money, incur too much credit card debt for vacations, wide screen TV's, and toys. But that's simply not true.
In the majority of instances, these people faced with the loss of their home have resorted to credit cards to pay for uninsured medical expenses, prescription medicine, emergency car repairs, or in the food check out line.
Foreclosure is but another symptom of an underlying hardship. A medical condition, the death of a spouse or family member, the loss of employment, stress, etc.
Many people who end up losing their homes could have saved them had they
investigated and participated in sound, legitimate, non foreclosure alternatives.
I understand that what was written was meant in fun and in jest... but this is a serious problem that America faces.
I meet with scores of distressed homeowners each month. No two scenarios are alike. The only common thread is the threat of loss of homeownership. As diverse are the problems, so too are the solutions.
There. That's my rant for the day.
You are absolutely right Short, as much of a joke we can make of it, it is a sad reality that this does happen and people either dont know they have options or just dont www.care.I will say that a lot of foreclosures are the result of money mismanagement. Dont get me wrong, I am not saying all foreclosures are the result of drugs or illegal activities because if I did I would definitely be wrong. Foreclosure is happening everywhere, rich or poor.
Good Example..I have a buddy who is married and has two kids. He bought a house and a year later both of his daughters whom have sickle cell both became very ill and needed to be hospitalized and he went into foreclosure because of his kids medical bills. Then on top of all that he gets laid off.
Its bad when even the rich are b****ing.
God Bless everyone and have a profitable day
Benny
[addsig]
Thanks for the letter. I laughed.
I don't think the majority of people aren't down and outers.
Maybe some are, and just could care less about their property.
But, I really can't judge until I have been with the person and know their situation.
Seriously though, if we are taking over the persons house, in any situation, we shouldn't be making fun of them.
_________________
A simple man believes anything, but a prudent man gives thought to his steps. Proverbs 14:15 <><[ Edited by joel on Date 10/22/2003 ]
shortsale, you are so funny. the fact is that you risked sounding like a prude to share your info on foreclosees - but you couldn't have been more true. i live in philly and there are plenty of poor and uneducated folk here, but they don't have homes to start with. the foreclosures i see are in the nicer neighborhoods. poor people here aren't really broke, they're even! they don't owe anyone anything, they just don't have shyt. hehe. people who had money before are the ones that can become (my version of) *broke*.
very funny thread!!
The Newest and latest foreclosure story is that the homeowners can buy a New home or build a home eaiser, bigger, cheaper and with less qualifying than buying an exisiting home.
Many of them are told that this way they can afford more, which translates to: You can build/buy a large home in a new subdivision with all the whistles and bells cheaper than existing without the whistles and bells and the first year your insurance and taxes are realitively low, so we'll just roll your closing costs and these other items into your note in Escrow for you so you will not have to worry. Sounds like a dream come true to the unsuspecting New Homeowner.
A year goes by. The appraiser checks the sales in the area ( 14 new houses were built all with closing costs rolled in and the insurance and taxes too) and reappraises the whole deveolpement. The Insurance market take their customary pocket change and raises their rates.
Guess what???
The new owner of the new home gets a wammy. His nice little $800 per month payment increases to $1100. Maybe this don't ruffle him too much the first year becuase after all his apt he rented was $1200 and he has so much more.
Then the next year comes and Shazam! the payment this year is $1400.......
This can cause many things either right out defualt, problems in the home becuase of the mounting bills etc leading to divorce etc, someone gets sick.......... or maybe to top it all off there is a 49% layoff in the area you live in and you or you spouse is layed off........
This is the story I hear over and over. It all started with the wonderful people who helped them get into the New Home that was more than they could afford than ever before, interest rates are low and the taxes this year are based on the undeveloped lot etc...
Unfortuantely I tell people over and over it if looks too good to be true question it.
Benny,
Thanks for sharing your letter. I needed humor this morning, and you showed it to us. It is good to be serious, but it is also good to step down off the plateau every now and then.
Although beginners may have read into that differently, I read into it exactly as you meant it to read! Just a little humor amongst friends. Thanks for sharing!
BAMZ
Thanks BAM,
Its good to see that I can make people smile and laugh. Personally speaking, if everyone took their serious job and incorporated a little fun or humor into it they might enjoy it a little more, not to mention be more productive. When your having fun working, it is no longer a job because you enjoy what you are doing. Your stresses are reduced, your mind is clearer, and bottom line you are more relaxed especially when it comes to dealing with people. My thinking is this, If I can take a client with a serious situation, make that person smile or even laugh then my foot is half way in the front door. As crazy as this may sound, I consider humor a part of my marketing strategy. My experience is that people really tend to remember someone who made them laugh, or they recall something funny you said, and guess what...they will remember you and you will be their first call. Humor makes people feel comfortable especially when facing a trying situation like foreclosure, Use your funny antics or jokes to make your clients feel more relaxed and comfortable with you. Your making them laugh or smile can be your ticket to get in. It doesnt mean you have to become the joker, just use laughter to break the ice.Sure making money is serious business but what good is money if you cant laugh on the way to the bank with it?
Sorry, didnt mean to turn this into a marketing class..LOL, just trying to iterate my point.
God Bless You All,
Benny
[addsig]
Benny, thanks for the fun letter.
We all know this letter was meant for fun,
people like that don't care about a foreclosure on there credit. I know how difficult it is to deal with people like that.
Most people who are unfortuned to be in forclosure are not like that anyway.
Thank Benny!
Have a nice day
RK
Hi Benny,
Thanks for the laugh!
This business can be frustrating and the people unpredictable. I think we all need to step back a little sometimes and be a little silly amongst ourselves to let off steam.
Obviously there are all types of people unfortunate enough to be facing foreclosure, but who hasn't felt like running out a letter like that sometimes.
Again, thanks for the giggle.
Ghostwriter
While we are on the subject, here is a letter I like to send to those people that do the nigerian e-mail scam- (father died 50 million needs to be tranferred in your bank account) One responded back and thought it was funny. He was interested in me writing some of his future letters, of which I declined.
Hello Friend,
I have to tell you that letter was a real tear- jerker.
It is funny how you sent me this e-mail because I was having the same problem. I am the former, so-called, "dictator" of Iraq. Although I feel that label is a little strong.
A while back I had made some enemies and found it necessary to leave my post as the sadistic dictator of Iraq. I took with me 2 trillion dollars to spend as I go. You never know when you will get the chance to take over a country and steal everything in site again. I ' m sure you understand.
That leads me to my problem (I almost forgot) I was looking for an honest person (HA HA) to transfer this money into their bank account to pick up at a later time. I would be willing to compensate this person with a clean 1 billion off the top and accumulated interest. I figured we could put this money into a 1 year CD bearing at least 4.25% interest or your Christmas club account (so we don't raise any red flags), whichever pays more.
If the imperialists get me before the time the money comes to maturity, it would be yours to keep. If not, we will divide the money as stated above.
I searched the Internet for a totally random person, who is totally foreign to me, faceless, nameless, who I know absolutely nothing about, Who I couldn’t pick out of a lineup if my life depended on it, who could be worse of a thief than me and that’s where I came up with your e-mail address. I thought you and I would make a perfect match for my little business transaction. I ' m sure you get the picture.
If you would Please keep this little transaction just between us as you know I trust you 100% friend (HA HA) I am keeping a low profile these days till the heat blows over.
Please e-mail me your bank account number with the routing number so I can clean out your bank account. I mean so I can deposit the money into your account for safe keeping (Ha, Ha)
Have a Happy Honikuh if I don't see you,
Saddam Hussein
Former Sadistic Dictator of Iraq